What makes a good husband?

Is it true that a good husband is fast becoming a “scarce commodity” in our society? No doubt you just might yell a resounding YES! This is the 21^st century and you will agree that things change with rapid astonishment. That good husbands are seemingly hard to come by doesn’t mean none exists. Whether you’re a married woman, a single lady or even a man (married or single), you’ll find this discussion quite useful. So here are some qualities that define a good husband.
So here we go!

1. Good provider
A good husband is one who is able to take care of the needs of his family. One who is willing to do honest work to take care of his family. He is the breadwinner of the family. Even the Bible (and I believe other religions as well) enjoins men to work and take care of their families. Men are wired and configured naturally to be providers. Hence you know you’ve got a great husband when he strives at all times to provide for his family. There are times when the husband is unable to provide due to job loss, ill health. This doesn’t automatically make him a bad husband. And being a good provider alone does not make him a good husband either.
2. Never a Dictator
A great husband knows that carrying his wife and family along when it comes to major decisions doesn’t make him a weakling but makes him accountable. He doesn’t run his home like a corporation or a military barracks. He wouldn’t make his wife inferior to him but rather reassures her that they both co-equals. He doesn’t act unilaterally and tells the wife afterwards. When it comes to decision-making he seeks for and values the contribution of the wife.
3. Communicative
One of the qualities that make a good husband is good communication. Good communication strengthens your relationship and builds trust. In this part of the world, most men feel that they aren’t supposed to tell their wife about all their dealings. Truth be told, when men begins to hide things from their wives, it goes a long way to breed distrust. The hallmark of a good husband is one that is open and communicative almost to a fault, shares his pain, shame and fame, his mood, feelings, values, attitudes, likes and dislikes with his wife. He has nothing to hide because he understands that in marriage the two are one.
4. Helps his wife
In Nigeria, before now a man would be considered a “Woman Wrapper “or better put, ‘a weakling’ when  he is found helping out with the house chores like doing dishes, laundry, bathing the baby, cooking and even babysitting. Times have changed; a good husband drops his pride and helps out with home chores especially when he sees his wife is striggling. Every responsible husband should be able to recognize when his wife is struggling and be happy to help her out with some chores. It doesn’t make him a weak man but a strong man and a great husband.
5. Does not Cheat
John Gray, PhD, in his book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”, pointed to the fact that men are polygamist in nature, but it takes a disciplined and good husband to stick to one partner all his life. A good husband is faithful to his wife and considers it inappropriate to cheat on his wife. A good husband loves and respects his wife enough not to indulge in any extra marital affair, no matter how ‘harmless’ it may seem.
6. Finds ways to express his love

Do I need to belabor this point? A good husband seeks ways to express his love to his wife every time in all ways possible. It may not necessarily be an expensive dress, an exotic trip. It may just be a little smile, an appreciation of her efforts, a family picnic, little love letters hidden in places you know she would find, frequent calls/text messages while in the office or away from home. You may pay someone to drop flowers for her at her office. Get creative. Look for and learn new ways of expressing love to your wife. Another way a good husband shows love to his wife is by loving his children and spending time with them. Ask the women and they will tell you that loving their children is same as loving them. You can never love your wife and family too much, trust me.
7.  Understands the difference between nuclear and extended family
When a man gets married and starts a family, his parents and siblings become his extended family. There are no ifs or buts about this. A lot of Nigerian men never seem able to draw the line between their nuclear and extended family which leads to a lot of inlaw wahala. Any family (woman are most guilty of this) that doesn’t allow a man to grow his new family without interference is not acting in the best interest of their son/brother. However, a man who cannot protect his nuclear family from his extended family is also not acting in the best interest of his marriage and family. A good husband recognizes that his wife and children come first and any other family member is jara.
Is there more to being a good husband?
You bet there still are! However, any man who possesses these basics as listed above, sure would make a very good husband. Just to balance up this article, while on your search for what makes a good husband, take the time and efforts to ensure that you too are a good wife.
Therefore, if you’ve done a check and find these qualities and much more in the man in your life, treat him like a king and be ready to be treated as a queen who you no doubt are.